Unit 3 Assessment: Curate Your Blog

Learning Outcome 1: Present evidence of a body of work that demonstrates a systematic enhancement of your knowledge and understanding.

I have been self-conscious for a long time about having a very broad creative practice, including diverse mediums; drawing, painting, illustration, textiles, writing, self-publishing, music, performance and video editing. I am also interested by a variety of subject matter; propaganda, nationalism, political empowerment, cultural heritage, diversity and inclusion, mental health and psychology. I am aware that the danger of having so much breadth is that the resulting work and creative research is too shallow and undeveloped, especially at a Master’s degree level – something which has caused me concern throughout the course. My hope was that through the MA, I would be able to develop these lines of enquiry to a greater depth and begin to synthesise some of the more disparate elements of my practice, as well as reflecting on my varied mediums – to identify the function each was serving in my creative practice, so that I could choose more effectively when to deploy them and whether to invest time and resources into developing them. It’s not possible to do everything, so the primary question I have been asking myself is; when to do things and why?

“Kaleidentity” Project

When I started the MA Fine Art Digital course, I decided to embark on a portrait project, developing on what I had learned through my previous “Brexiles” project, which explored the symbolic use of colour to represent the identities of 27 British citizens who had left the UK because of Brexit. Whilst still making efforts during the MA to organise exhibitions and events (in Sheffield, Edinburgh and Cambridge) to further disseminate my “Brexiles” research – I wanted to produce a new body of work that examined the topic of migrant identity more broadly and through a less political lens.

Brexiles Exhibition, Festival of Europe, Edinburgh, May 2024

My interest in developing a body of portraiture was first prompted by a conversation I had with a 16-year-old Bulgarian boy on a train journey from Bucharest to Sofia, during my tour of the EU member states in 2019. He had travelled out to the Bulgarian countryside in search of love, only to be rejected, returning to the capital empty-hearted and with the lame consolation prize of a conversation with me: We discussed Brexit, European politics and I showed him my sketchbook, explaining that I was trying to celebrate the cultural diversity of the member states. The boy looked through my sketchbooks and remarked, “Your drawings are all of buildings and landscapes – but it’s the people that make Europe.”

I never saw the boy again, but our conversation and the gift of his feedback – that single sentence – has stayed with me and profoundly impacted the direction of my creative practice.

Recently, I have been reflecting on that memory and what it has taught me:

·      Firstly, the value of travel which facilitates these chance interactions and the insight that can be gained from experiencing different cultures and broadening the communities with whom you engage – one of many reasons I continue to creatively campaign for the rights of migrants, Freedom of Movement and “youth mobility/opportunity/experience” (or whatever the government has most recently decided to call it) schemes.

·      Secondly, it taught me the importance of responding to constructive, critical feedback and taking on-board other people’s opinions and insights to broaden my understanding and explore different approaches in my art practice, especially co-creation.

·      Thirdly, it prompted me to critically analyse the purpose of my landscape/architectural sketches – which I continue to make during the many opportunities I have to travel for work, performances and personal reasons. I realised that the function of these sketches were to document my journeys and the places I have visited, to celebrate the diverse cultural heritage of Europe, and to provide content for my social media that is unique to me (not just standard tourist photographs). Producing these sketches also has a significant role for my mental health and well-being, as sketching is an act of mindfulness that grounds me in a place.

·      Fourthly, this conversation shifted the focus of my attention from place to people and prompted my exploration into the complex identity of migrants. Foregrounding other people’s stories also made me realise how bored I was with being the “centre of attention” – as an out-spoken activist, you are frequently put on a pedestal, pushed onto platforms and forced in front of cameras and microphones – and I was tired of my own arguments, the stories I have told repeatedly, and the ongoing backlash I endure for having the audacity to express my political views. I needed to take a step back from my voice being at the forefront of my practice and process the mental load of the abuse I have received as a result of my activism, and I wanted to focus on other people’s stories, to use the platforms I have created to share other people’s voices and to develop my skills in co-creation, communications and community building.

During the first term of my MA, I worked on the proposal for my portrait project, defining the scope of the project, my approach and methods – reflecting on the understanding I had gained from Helen Kara’s Creative Research Methods to ensure that the choices I made aligned with the intention of my research. I decided to aim for 8-10 participants, so that I could explore their identities in greater depth than the 27 participants of my Brexiles project. I realised that due to the nature of my proposal, which aimed to champion the participants’ voices, narrate their personal stories, celebrate their diverse identities and co-create the creative outcomes, the participants couldn’t participate anonymously and therefore I had to think through carefully the ethical implications – ensuring that my participants had editorial oversight of everything that would be published and could withdraw their consent to participate at any stage. I also wanted to use the project as an opportunity to improve my technical skill and the style of my portraiture – so, I designed a co-creation process which would give me the time and opportunity to develop as an artist.

Finding my research participants was not an easy experience, since I wanted to achieve as much diversity as possible, but many people I approached were understandably uncomfortable with the lack of anonymity or reluctantly agreed, but then failed to engage in the co-creation process – I also experienced one potential participant overstep professional boundaries making me feel unsafe. In the end, I was fortunate to find ten migrants from across the globe who were enthusiastic to participate in my project, all of whom are friends or former colleagues, so I had a personal connection and good rapport with them which was hugely beneficial for the interviews which were conversational in style. My participants include: Five women (to achieve gender balance), three from LGBTQ+ communities, two refugees, one person who was adopted as an infant, two parents and four people of colour. I embedded co-creation from the start of the research process, inviting my first three participants, who are all close, trusted friends to give me feedback on my research proposal document. We organised a group meeting to chat through the process and created a group Whatsapp chat to discuss the project and to allow them to give me feedback on the creative process and interview question, thereby embedding co-creation from the start of the project.

Halfway through my MA degree, after only managing to complete one interview with a participant who lives in the same city as me, I realised that I needed to revise my proposal to conduct the interviews by video and produce a documentary about the project – because of the difficulty of scheduling in-person interviews with people who were geographically dispersed, had busy schedules and were frequently travelling themselves. Instead, I opted to schedule the interviews online, recording the audio (for personal reference only) – transcribing our conversations using AI, before paraphrasing their quotes to be published on my blog (after their editorial approval) which will be available during exhibitions through QR codes. My plan was to also produce a book to document the project and the insights I have gained from my research participants. Ditching the proposed documentary made the interview process much easier to co-ordinate and I conducted the last interview in January 2025. Because it was so important to give them authorship and as much control over the content as possible, I sent them the questions beforehand, so that they had time to consider their answer and I was keen to stress before their interview, that they should view this project as an opportunity to tell their own story and to use my platforms and networks to communicate a message or prompt a discussion on a topic of their choosing.

For the portraits, I started out with making sketches in pencil and ink from photographs of my participants. I used both photographs they had sent me and photographs I had taken for my first three participants - but for the other participants they sent me images they had exclusively chosen, which I realised was better because of the importance of representing them as they wanted to be seen - the reference material was the crucial starting block to help me achieve that. After producing my monochrome sketches, I asked them which they preferred, only publishing the sketches with their agreement and deciding with them their favourite image on which to base their final portrait.

With all of my participants, we had a discussion about colours by message/email (which we later revisited during the interviews) so that I could make the draft of the final portrait in oil pastels on paper in their chosen colours. I asked them to consider their personal interpretation of the symbolic meaning of colours, encouraging them to choose colours which represent their identity rather than just colours that they like. Some of my participants found it very easy to interpret their identity through the framework of visual language, whilst others really struggled, saying that they “just don’t see colours this way” and some changing their colour selection multiple times. I gave them some examples of the justifications others had given for their chosen colours as a guide, which seemed to help them finalise their choice, but it made me question this element of the co-creation method and whether it was too reductive or limiting to accurately represent their identity.

 When producing the final portraits, I started out with three, small “test” portraits – as I was very keen to try and improve on the fragmented style of my “Brexiles” portraits. I explored different options for the backgrounds, painting the entire background for some or painting around the space for the portrait, blending their chosen colours together or painting them in uniform stripes, then adding splatters or not – we collectively reviewed the outcomes, and with their feedback, I decided on the following:

·      The blended colour backgrounds only worked if the participant had chosen colours which sat next to each other on the colour spectrum, and since I wanted the set of 10 portraits to be uniform, the best solution was to paint the background as distinct stripes of colour. I later reflected that this element of rigid, uniformity could represent the systems which restrict migration and limit our freedoms, such as passports, visas, residency permits and citizen applications which many of my participants mentioned during their interviews.

·      Adding the splatters gave the portraits more dynamism, which also helped to overcome the rigidity of the uniform stripes, representing the sense of frustration many of my participants had expressed during their interviews as to their struggles to overcome the bureaucracy which limits migration and personal freedoms. It also made a connection to my abstract painting work, which frequently feature splatters.

·      The texture of the vertical background stripes was perceptible through the portrait and leaving a blank space on the canvas for the portrait when painting the background, made the final outcome look much neater and was technically easier to execute.

For the faces themselves, I decided to try and make them more “true to life” than my “Brexiles” portraits, which had been much more flexible with the location, shape and size of facial features. I tried to ensure this greater technical accuracy by working from their photograph using a scale rule to ensure accurate proportions. I also dropped some of the gimmicky elements of the “Brexiles” portraits, such as the spiral eyes and the swirls to represent curly hair, which, given the inclusion of ethnically diverse participants in this project, might have been interpreted as culturally insensitive. Finally, because I was critical of how flat the “Brexiles” portraits had turned out, I tried to focus on shadow in the photographs – translating the areas of light and darkness into different intensity of hues. This was a challenging process and I wasn’t always successful in achieving the depth I was hoping for, realising that the outcome was better when the source photograph I was working from was of a higher quality and with more dramatic lighting used. So, in the future, when producing portraits, I will make greater efforts to ensure the quality of the source image. I also tried to increase the textural drama of the paintings, since the audience often commented at my “Brexiles” exhibitions how much more dramatic the paintings were in-person (digital images cannot capture the texture of the paint surface) and I wanted to maximise the impact of this engaging feature. I used thick, textural brush marks to create the intersecting shapes that comprise the faces, so that it would stand prominent from the background and give the portraits a dynamic sense of constantly shifting direction.

 The final element of the project was my exploration of flags. My interest in the exploration was sparked by an insight from the “Brexiles” project, where I was surprised that many of my participants chose to be represented by the colour schemes of national / the European flag, and sexual or gender identity flags. This prompted me to reflect on my own association with the European flag (which I discovered through my research is not a flag but an emblem) which has featured and continues to feature in so many of my costumes, placards and campaign paraphernalia over the years. Through my research into flags, I also realised that I had entirely overlooked the use of flags in a religious context, or the religious emblems featured on many nation state flags. I came to the realisation that expressing your identity through a flag, is a statement of belonging to a collective identity of shared beliefs and values or at the very least, a shared territory and culture.

Through the “Kaleidentity” project I wanted to indulge in an experiment, asking the question “is it possible to subvert the typical purpose of a flag, by designing flags to represent unique, individual identities?”. When discussing this element of the project with tutors and my research participants, I realised that many people were uncomfortable with the concept of a flag because of their historical role in conquest and oppression – so, I knew this experiment may very well be a failure but would at least teach me something about the relationship between flags and identity in the process. During the interviews, we discussed symbols as well as colours, which could represent them – and I was interested that many of my participants mentioned or decided upon their tattoo designs for their flags. Some participants chose symbols which represented their ethnicity and heritage, some chose symbols that represent their character and personality, whilst others chose a symbol that represents the values by which they live their life. I found these conversations, and our subsequent dialogues over the co-design process incredibly insightful as to the representational potential of symbols - whilst also highlighting the reductive nature of my co-creation process.

I started the design process digitally for ease of co-creation, as it was much quicker to share and redesign the flags using software (and my time-management alarm bells were ringing). I deliberated for a long while over how to produce the final flags, which I wanted to be a physical item for display: having hand-made a test flag for my boyfriend who had unexpectedly presented me with his own design, I was aware of the labour intensive nature this approach. Reflecting on a running joke about the quantity of “EU merch” I have accumulated - I decided to print the designs, because flags are inherently repetitious, emblazoned upon any number of objects and a vast variety of surfaces and materials. I chose lino-cut as the printing method after the workshop during the 2025 Low Residency, where I found solace in the reductive nature of the design process which chimed with the insight of one of my research participants who had described flags as a “flattening of identity”. I also loved the way that, even when printing from the same plate, no two prints came out exactly the same – which seemed like an apt metaphor for the constantly shifting nature of identity. After, tutorials with Richard Reynolds and Jonathan Kearney, where I discussed the size, nature and display of the flags, considering the use of prayer flags in non-Western cultures, and the discomfort of some participants at the oppressive use of flags, I decided to print the flags at a small scale, so that they could be strung together like bunting, which is unintimidatory in nature, whilst emphasising the celebratory nature of the project. I reflected that the bunting would create a metaphorical connecting thread between my research participants, several of whom had mentioned during their interviews the importance of “finding their tribe”, their joy at connecting like-minded people together and their feeling of belonging to diaspora/migrant communities regardless of the individual’s country of origin.

 After finalising the digital designs, I cut them into the lino and printed the flags in my participant’s chosen colours – then asking them to choose their favourite colour combinations from the prints, which I used for the flags I have produced to be displayed as celebratory bunting alongside the portraits for Migration Matters Festival the MA final show. I have had a positive response from all of my participants to their printed flag designs, with one participant sending me a very moving voice note (with birds chirping in the background), “I think it’s more than just an art project and a piece of research, it’s a cosmic gift. So, thank you.” And I feel like after getting such a positive response to the flags, even from only one of the ten participants, that I can consider my “flag experiment” to be a success.

I realised that I had over-estimated my capacity, with the promise of producing a book presenting the outcomes of my research project, at least within the time frame of the MA. So, I’ve decided to start writing the book after the final show, when I will have more time and perspective to do justice to my participant’s insights and wisdom and synthesise the knowledge they have gifted me through their interviews. My intention is for this book to be self-published and digitally accessible to my online audience as well as through QR codes at physical exhibitions and potentially produced as a small print-run through crowdfunding. A more immediate reflection on the project has been my realisation that it is impossible to capture an individual’s full identity in a portrait, a flag, an interview or by any means. The essence of being human is constant change, growth and development – and even the most talented and skilled artist can only capture a snapshot of their identity at any given moment. This is why we experience grief so intensely: no representation can ever compensate for the loss of a human life or substitute a person’s absence (nor can a representation substitute a dearly loved pet’s absence, for that matter).

My research participants have taught me that identity is constantly shifting, in response to life experiences, environmental factors, situational circumstances, relationships and mood. Reflecting on this, I conceived a conceptual title for the project, “Kaleidentity” which I will continue use for my exploration of migrant identity beyond the MA course. The term “Kaleidics” denotes an ever-changing shape or status – which for me summarises the true nature of identity. Human beings are so much more than the labels we assign to them and the boxes we tick on forms to describe our identities – we are ever fragmenting, ever reforming, ever shifting, ever developing, ever changing forms.

Whilst I wanted the focus of my MA research to be the “Kaleidentity” project, I didn’t want to limit my creative explorations to the rigidly planned research structure which was necessary for that project, because of the ethical implications of co-creation with participants. So, I decided to take a more free and experimental approach with the other strands of my creative practice: particularly the topic of mental health and psychology, and with the medium of abstract painting. I also wanted to develop skills in a new medium – textiles.

Textiles

At the start of the course, I bought a sewing machine with the intention of learning how to use it and producing my own costumes/textiles works. As a teenager I was so frustrated at my mother’s sewing machine always jamming up when I attempted to use it, that I abandoned the idea of ever making my own clothes. So, I was quite pleased that (fifteen years later) I managed to pick up the skill quickly and start making textiles works, including costumes. I also attended workshops delivered by a UAL tutor, Suki Sagoo-Redi, to develop my knowledge and skills in the medium and experiment with different ideas. Reflecting on feminist literature and inspired by the history of banners in protest movements, I created a number of wall-hangings and cushions for my flat (and for a friend), with messaging related to our personal experiences – essentially functioning as domestic acts of protest.

Abstract Painting

I had also been reflecting on my abstract painting and what I was trying to communicate through this particular style. During the pandemic I had sold a significant number of abstract paintings, so they had certainly served a purpose - but, after reading more literature on the history of modern art, as well as feminist art, I was becoming increasingly disillusioned with the style because of its patriarchal history. However, I didn’t want to stop because I realised that of all my art forms, I enjoy making the abstract paintings the most – finding it cathartic and an opportunity for “messy play” which led me to make a connection with mental health and well-being. I decided to explore how I could use the style to explore my interest in mental health and psychology – specifically through my collaboration with my art collective Dare to Care and my participation in “The Vibrant Mind” touring exhibition organised by Gamian Europe. As well as exploring painting with unconventional tools (ie. Potatoes) and on non-traditional surfaces (ie. Torn fabric and potato sacks). (More about this “synthesis” development in my creative practice in the Learning Outcome 2 section).

Landscape sketches

Sketching architecture and landscapes has been a part of my creative practice for as long as I can remember. My sixth form art teacher having first introduced me to the concept of “urban sketching” and I have engaged in the practice ever since. It was particularly important after I left school, when I was struggling severely with mental health illness and trying to find meaning in my daily reality. After a period of hospitalisation for Anorexia, I moved to the Peak District, where walking and sketching the natural landscape were central to my recovery – inspiring my first funded art project in 2015, “Moorland Wonderscape”, which provided disadvantaged communities from Sheffield and Manchester to create artworks in response to the countryside. The practice was also a central part of my 2019 project “The Future is Europe” where I completed a tour of the EU27,  the landscape and architectural sketches served to illustrate my journey to my social media followers (who were eager to comment on my posts, sharing their memories of the places I was capturing through my art) and crowdfunders, as well as collectively debunking a myth promoted by Brexit supporters that the EU creates a cultural monolith that erodes the unique identity of the nation states. Again, I sold many prints of these landscape sketches, as well as the book documenting the project – so they served multiple purposes in my creative practice.

The MA prompted me to reflect on why I continue to create these landscape sketches, how I can improve them and if there would be any value in developing them conceptually or synthesising them with other strands of my creative practice. I realised that the sketches served an external and an internal function in my creative practice, firstly (along with my photography) to document my frequent travels and to serve as a celebration of the cultural heritage and identity of a given destination. The sketches often prompt a conversation (both online and offline) about shared memories, functioning as an act of honouring place. I understood the power in this act of appreciation after a conversation with the organiser of an event I performed at in Thionville, France, when I showed her my sketches of her home-town, she expressed her disbelief and gratitude that I had bothered to travel there and create these artworks. The second function of my sketches is internal, playing a role in my mental health and well-being, helping me to cope with the toll that the stress of continuous travel puts on your mind and body. The act of making a sketch grounds me in a place, helping me to process the often overwhelming exposure to unfamiliar stimuli and to focus my mind for a period of time (usually 45-90 minutes) and find meaning in the sensation of constant displacement. It comes down to a rather simple equation: If I can make a representation of the destination, then it makes the journey (and suffering the associated stress of travel) worthwhile.

This realisation still left me with the question of whether the landscape sketches were something I wanted to develop conceptually during the MA. I thought about incorporating text into the sketches or producing “book art” from the sketches or combining the landscapes with portraiture. But none of these ideas particularly inspired me and there certainly wasn’t time to try everything, conversely, I felt quite content with the function the landscapes sketches were currently serving in my creative practice, so I decided to put this possible exploration aside. Instead focussing my efforts on improving the quality of my sketches; by investing more time into each sketch, so that I could produce them with greater detail and by focusing more on light and shadow, so that the sketches which I continued to make had greater depth.

Music/Performance

Writing and performing music has always been an important element in my creative practice, specifically protest songs have played a central role in my activism. I was not a song-writer before I became an activist, but I chose the medium to communicate my feelings, values and views because I felt too uncomfortable with antagonistic, political debate. Coupled with an attention-grabbing costume, performing campaign songs was a method of animating a street protest, providing entertainment whilst communicating a message in a non-confrontational manner. I also started to get invitations to perform at prestigious events and venues, and during the MA course I performed at the Allianz Forum (Berlin), St. Martin’s Church (Garmisch), the House of Lords (London), the European Economic Social Committee (Brussels), Stormont (Belfast), and the European Parliament Liaison Office (London). I also had the opportunity to perform with the Plattling Grundschule choir – which was an incredibly special moment to share with the children who had been learning my songs and who gifted me drawings they had made. I was also commissioned to co-write a song for the Centre for European Volunteering with one of their staff members, which fosters the values and mission of the organisation, which we have since performed together at two events in Belgium.

Whilst I always value these opportunities to collaborate with other artists and share my message musically and not wanting to disappoint by turning down invitations – I have been trying to reduce my musical engagements (not always successfully), preferring to focus more of my time and energy on the visual aspects of my creative practice. There were three main reasons behind this desire; wanting to take a step-back from being “centre stage” all the time, reducing the amount of travel I undertook for performances because of the negative impact it has on my health and because I felt that the quality of my visual artwork was much stronger than my musical performance, and therefore more worthy of the developmental investment (unless I could find away to synthesise the two).

Learning Outcome 2: Synthesise and critically reflect coherently on your process whilst providing evidence of an active, independent and/or collaborative practice.

Synthesising Lines of Enquiry: The Research Paper

Reflecting on all the different strands of my creative practice and trying to identify the “connecting threads” between my lines of enquiry was a challenging process. I’ve often felt too broad in subject matter, spread too thin across different creative mediums, unspecialised and disjointed. Realising that challenging abuse of power and overcoming acts of cruelty were the common threads across my practice, led me to choose the topic of my research paper ‘Cults of Scale: How Art Can Support the Recovery from the Abuse of Power’ with the hope of synthesising the knowledge I have gained through my varied visual explorations.

Identifying the common threads:

·      My creative activism against Brexit and interest in celebrating migrant identity, was motivated by my outrage at the rise in hate crime against refugees and migrants in 2016, as well as my understanding of the impact of policy change on the rights of migrants, youth and citizens more widely and my desire to advocate for greater freedoms.

·      My interest in propaganda tactics has been motivated by the manipulation strategies of politicians to weaponise nationalist ideology to mobilise the public against vulnerable minorities.

·      My interest in psychology and mental health has been motivated by my personal experience of cruelty (both domestic and online abuse) and understanding of the impact that has on the victim’s well-being.

The intention behind the topic of my research paper was not just to identify the common thread between my lines of enquiry, but also to explore the role art plays in providing solutions to the problems which my creative practice is exploring – hence the framing of the title ‘How Art Can…’ I want my creative practice to have positive social impact, and therefore the research paper was an investigation into the mechanics of the role art could play in achieving my aim of challenging and supporting recovery from the abuse of power. As such, the most important literature I read during my MA research, which informed the conclusion of my research paper, was ‘Trauma and Recovery; The Aftermath of Violence – From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror' by Judith L. Herman. This text emphasised the impact of abuse of power on the victim’s sense of identity – a primary motivation for my exploration of migrant identity through the “Kaleidentity” project. It also highlighted the importance of collaboration and the co-creation elements of my creative practice, ‘The solidarity of a group provides the strongest protection against terror and despair... Trauma isolates; the group re-creates a sense of belonging’ (Herman, 2023, page 313). Finally, it justified the role of joy in my creative practice, ‘her view of life may be tragic, but for that very reason she has learned to cherish laughter. She has a clear sense of what is important and what is not. Having encountered evil, she knows how to cling to what is good.’ (Herman, 2023, page 311)

Irrespective of the value of the topic of my research paper to my creative practice, researching this subject matter has been incredibly beneficial for me in a personal and professional context, as I frequently have and continue to encounter individuals in my line of work (political campaigning) who deploy psychological manipulation strategies in order to abuse power to varying degrees of severity. Having the knowledge and understanding to identify and shut down these strategies when they are being deployed, as well as providing counsel to others who are being subjected to such manipulations and abuse of power, has played an invaluable role in safeguarding my own mental health and well-being.

Synthesising Abstract Painting, Textiles and Performance: Dare to Care and The “Hate Dress”

In the second term of my degree, I was going through a traumatic personal experience which significantly impacted my mental health, requiring medical treatment and counselling - leading me to withdraw from the course for several weeks. To aid the healing process, I used abstract painting and my newly acquired textiles skills to reflect on my experience of self-harm and mental illness, by painting intense and dramatic colour-scapes and slicing and stitching the canvases back together.

With the upcoming opportunity of including some additional works in “The Vibrant Mind” exhibition in Bologna, where my art collective were delivering a public programme called “Ways of Healing” – I decided to take my stitched abstracts “off-canvas” – metaphorically freeing them from the confines of the patriarchal history of abstract art. I produced two hanging textiles works, which formed an installation in the Bologna exhibition – on the one side the intense, gestural brushstrokes symbolised the raw emotional intensity of trauma – on the other side the same marks were perceptible but dulled, like a memory soothed by acceptance of the traumatic experience. These textiles hangings were slashed and stitched in different colour threads and ribbons, representing the myriad “Ways of Healing” (the theme of our programme) and embedding the feminist history of sewing as an act of care into the artworks.

The Vibrant Mind exhibition, Bologna, April 2024

I also produced a third artwork, “A Confrontation with the Brokenness of Self” inspired by my research into the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where the scars are seen to beautify the object – which I painted in black, using golden threads to stitch the fabric back together. These artworks inspired a workshop I designed and led as part of the “Ways of Healing” programme with young people from Bologna, where we co-created a textiles artwork, titled ‘re-writing’ cruelty, which was also displayed in the exhibition, in the style of a patchwork quilt responding to harmful or abusive communications. Finally, for my performance as part of our “Ways of Healing” programme, I decided to write a new song, inspired by my recent experiences and the artworks I had created, called “A Thread of Empathy”. The lyrics reflecting the feminist history of textiles and how care is central to the art form, encouraging the practice of acceptance (of self and of what cannot be controlled, namely other people’s behaviour) and exploring how acts of kindness can be empowering. I filmed a lot of footage at “The Vibrant Mind” exhibition and of Dare to Care’s “Ways of Healing” programme, which I edited into a short documentary to profile our work.

After creating these purely abstract, textiles explorations on the topic of mental health, I began considering the possibility of including text with the abstract works. Having been compulsively “collecting” troll comments since the start of the course, analysing the common narratives and systematically publishing them on my blog, I was beginning to wonder if I could use them in an artwork after a member of my art collective had made the comment, “everything is material”. I decided to identify the best (and by that, I mean the worst) troll comments to paint onto strips of the same canvas fabric I had used for the textiles hangings displayed in Bologna, painting my abstract gestural marks in vivid colours around the crudely written words in black acrylic. I didn’t want to invest a lot of effort into painting these comments, considering the trolls not to be worthy of my time and effort – so, I treated the comments with the carelessness with which they were first written; cheap, ugly, nasty and messy marks on ragged-edged strips of fabric. I continued this process of collecting the comments, reviewing their severity and painting the worst offenders which I had received during the first year of the course. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with all these pieces of fabric at first, but eventually decided to turn them into the “Hate Dress” – a wearable artwork that would raise awareness of the burden such abuse places on the victim. Translating the anonymised digital hate into hand-made clothing emphasises the personal nature of the trolling – how the abuse invades the victim’s domestic space and affects their perception of themselves and their sense of identity.

It took a while to overcome my sense of incompetence resulting from my failed teenage attempt to sew my own clothes, but once I had copied the pattern of a dress I already owned and liked, I found it quite easy to construct the bodice with the intention of attaching the strips of fabric with the troll comments by hand. I then had the revelation that the dress needed to be destroyed in a performance artwork – because I didn’t want to carry this burden of hate around with me forever: the purpose of the “Hate Dress” is merely to showcase the abuse which I had received, to raise awareness of online misogyny – whilst the act of destroying it would be empowering, asserting my control over the impact these messages have on me. This revelation led me to choose blue ribbons to attach the strips of troll comments to the bodice; blue because is my signature colour and this dress asserts my identity and because ribbons are feminine and soft, associated with gifts – an invitation for something to be undone, deconstructed, torn off to reveal the valuable item beneath. By the time I had attached all of the strips of hate I had painted, the dress was huge – I needed help to get into the dress and it was nearly impossible to walk anywhere in it. Worn over a hoop skirt, it simultaneously provided a metaphor for my right to have a voice and take up space, as well as physically illustrating the cumbersome burden of “emotional baggage” that the trolling had created.

Once the dress was finished, I engaged in a process of documenting this textiles artwork – this was especially important because the troll comments had originally come from social media and I was “recycling” them by positively channelling their negativity into create content to generate more engagement on social media. My Dad took the first photos for me, in my garden, again emphasising the domestic and the personal nature of this work – and I don’t think anyone but my Dad, who fully understand the impact that the trolling has had on me, could have taken such candid and emotive photos. The reaction from my supporters when I posted the photos on my social media was intense, I received so many positive comments and decided to “collect” these comments for publication on my reflective blog, just as I had the troll comments – evidencing the power of the “Hate Dress” to translate hate into love. These photographs were also included in the 'Break the Silence' VR exhibition, featuring 25 artists from over 15 countries which I co-curated with Dr. Ally Zlatar from over 150 submissions to our open call for works on the theme of Gender Based Violence. Additionally, I took the dress to Central Saint Martins, where my videographer Jeff Kew, filmed footage of the dress and me performing ‘A Thread of Empathy’ whilst wearing the dress, as well as an interview about the process of making it – which he edited into a ten-minute documentary, again to be published on my social media. These acts of documentation, especially of my more activist work, are a core element of my practice because of the importance I place on dissemination, dialogue and engagement with my audience.

I also want to explore the integration of my musical and performance skills into the visual side of practice, to develop performances that are more conceptually rigorous and less “activist” in their nature. Which was why I wrote the song, ‘A Thread of Empathy’ to reflect on my visual explorations and research into the element of care in sewing and textiles work – which I performed at “The Vibrant Mind” exhibition in Bologna. I will also perform this song at the European Parliament, where I will be showcasing the “Hate Dress” and “respeaking” the troll comments – an idea inspired by my research into artist, Sharon Hayes - as part of my performance on the topic of gender equality and combating gender based violence. As part of this performance, I will be inviting the audience to participate in the co-creation of a collective artwork, the ”Empower Dress”, which will feature positive, supportive and empowering comments – a collective action of solidarity against hate.

Synthesising Abstract Painting, Textiles and Performance: “Potainting”

I will be the first to admit that some of my trolls are quite funny and whilst painting the troll comments one particular comment caught my attention and made me laugh every time I spoke it aloud (“respeaking”) as an example to someone who was interested in my work. This comment, “How’s the potato painting going? Have you considered gainful employment?” was especially ludicrous for two reasons; firstly, I am employed full-time as well as doing the MA degree, and secondly, “potato painting” is a misnomer – primary school children (which was what the troll was implicitly referring to) are, in fact, printing with potatoes, not painting. I took inspiration from this comment and started painting (actually painting, not printing) with potatoes, creating a series of abstracts on canvas as well as painting on hessian material and potato sacks. The function of this exploration was largely to ridicule the troll, but also for the personal benefit of positively channelling something hurtful into something joyful, empowering and fun.

The “potato painting” series made me reflect on my need for external validation, how much of my creative practice is driven by the process of sharing (mostly on social media) and responding to feedback – both positive and negative. I think this is also why the trolling has had such a profound effect on me, although I have grown a thicker skin over the years, I am still incredibly sensitive to people’s feedback. I realised that this can be destructive in the sense that it can discourage you from making work or impact your creative choices, on the other hand, it can be constructive, if the feedback helps you to develop and improve or gives you new ideas – I think the key is to be selective about what feedback you accept and act upon. For example, one of my good friends commented on my potato paintings to say that they were in fact “potaintings” – and I have referred to them as that ever since, the word adding further ridicule and humour to the exploration. Similarly, I frequently invite my social media followers to name my abstract paintings and will often take the best suggestion, this drives engagement with my work and frequently sparks a conversation which gives me an idea for new work.

 One idea which came out of a conversation about my “potainting” was the idea of creating a performance artwork featuring a potato-sack-race, which soon morphed into a “po-hate-o-sack-race” to add an extra layer of silliness. I have decided to pause my “potainting” exploration, whilst I focus on finishing the visual elements of my “Kaleidentity” project for  the final show, as I don’t have the time currently to co-ordinate multiple performers – but to demonstrate the performative concept, I staged a photoshoot at my Dad's marina allotment, including filming a video of me jumping around in one of my “po-hate-o-sacks”. I published these photos and the video in a blog post titled “Well you did ask how the potato painting is going…” which aptly represents my core belief in joy as the greatest act of defiance against cruelty and oppression.

Critical Reflection: The Role of Propaganda in my Creative Practice

When I applied for the MA, my intention was to make a subtle shift in my creative practice, so that instead of art being at the centre of my activism - activism would be at the centre of my art. Prompted by a troll comment, “Notice how she said activist first”, I now ensure that I write my bio or present myself as “an artist and an activist”. Additionally, I wanted to de-centralise my personal narrative from my practice, because of the relentless trolling which I received for my creative activism, but also to allow space for other people’s narratives, perspectives and insights – so that I could learn from them. I hope that the work I have produced during the course reflects these intended step-changes in my practice.

It was with this intention that I decided to “de-politicise” my “Kaleidentity” portrait project to the extent that one participant, a fellow artist-activist friend of mine (accustomed to our frequent political discussions), remarked after her interview, “but we didn’t talk about politics!”. I wanted to take a more nuanced and celebratory approach to my exploration on the topic of migrant identity, having read extensively on the topic of propaganda and protest art; Orwell’s essay, ‘All Art is Propaganda’ and ‘Propaganda Prints’ by Colin Moore led me to reflect on the psychological manipulation strategies deployed in visual propaganda as well as the complex balance between the artist’s intention and the audience interpretation or perceived intent of their work. This prompted me to think through the framework of “audience response theory” in the process of creating works, especially since audience engagement is such a central element of my practice. For example, when directing an intentionally propagandist, anti-Tory music video ahead of the UK General Election in 2024, I decided to focus on challenging a particularly egregious policy of the Conservative government on disability benefits which would stir an emotional response and empathy in viewers. I chose this focus (one of many grievances I held against the party) because of the authenticity of my own voice in this argument (having in the past claimed disability benefit myself, due to mental health illness) and because of the opportunity to collaborate with another disabled activist and creative, Thom Jackson-Wood.

 Studying the work of artists including, Jenny Holzer and Barbara Kruger, had drawn my attention to the power of words and the importance of careful choice of impactful messaging to achieve audience engagement. Taking the Prime Minister’s own words, “Sick Note Culture”, and weaponizing them to ridicule his leadership – I created matching jackets for myself and Thom with the phrase repeated over and over, a creative process that invoked school children writing lines as punishment (in rainbow paint on white denim, for the punk aesthetic). Additionally, I created placards, one for myself reading, “Cruelty is not a solution” – a “truism” which as succinctly as possible summed up my rebuttle of the Conservative Party’s leadership, and the second for Thom, reading “I am chronically sick of the Tories” - his own words because co-creation was an essential value underpinning this music video. We filmed outside the Palace of Westminster and Downing Street, stomping the Conservative party manifesto into the dirt and shredding photographs of the Conservative MPs – provocative acts of violence intended to stimulate amusement and outrage depending on the audience’s political positionality. Humour ran through the video, culminating in the moment I kissed (the photo of) Michael Gove’s forehead before putting him through the shredder – embedding my philosophy of joy as an act of defiance.

Similarly, with the “Hate Dress”, text was a central part of this visual artwork. I designed a rigorous process for collecting and selecting the most incendiary comments because my intention in displaying them was to provoke outrage and empathy from my audience. These creative choices are manipulative, but I came to the realisation that I can accept the manipulative elements of my own practice, so long as the propagandist work I create is authentic to my voice, my views and my values. In contrast, the intention behind my “Kaleidentity” project was to foreground the stories and perspectives of others – it would therefore have been wholly inappropriate to take such a propagandist approach and I have tried my best to avoid any bias or manipulative communication strategies during the project, prioritising co-creation methods with my participants.

Learning Outcome 3: Summarise and evaluate your overall progress and formulate a constructive plan for continuing Personal and Professional Development.

Evaluating my Progress

I’m proud of the work I have produced over the course of the MA, and how much my creative practice has developed, in terms of my skills, technique and conceptual rigour, whilst also being conscious that there is so much further to go. I believe I have made a good start in terms of synthesising visual elements of my practice with performance, specifically with the “Hate Dress”, and I am excited to see how I could take this exploration further, as well as my ideas for the “Potaintings”. I have learnt new skills through my exploration in textiles and I am enthusiastic about making more work in this medium, especially designing costumes to support performances. I think that my technical skills in drawing and painting have also improved, and the quality of my landscape sketches and the “Kaleidentity” portraits are more sophisticated than my work prior to starting the MA, whilst also having identified the areas I need to focus on to improve them further. The reflective nature of the course, especially the blog has helped me to achieve my aim of identifying the function my different mediums was serving in my creative practice, and I believe this has helped me to prioritise my explorations and invest my time more effectively. Finally, I think I have begun shifting my creative practice to give more weight to my art than my activism, whilst acknowledging that this is a slow and ongoing process, due to the widespread recognition of my campaigning (resulting in ongoing invitations and engagements), as well as a change in my employment from the art sector back to the campaign sector. I am still concerned that my creative practice is too broad, however, I am trying to view this as an opportunity for life-long development, making it unlikely that I will ever come to a dead-end and providing fertile ground for ongoing synthesis of different ideas and explorations. I am grateful for all of the people I have had the opportunity to collaborate with throughout the course, including my art collective, research participants and fellow performers as well as the opportunity to facilitate public workshops and I hope to continue placing co-creation, collaboration and community building at the heart of my creative practice.

Future Plan

First and foremost, I acknowledge that I need to take a break from my current level of activity, because what I have been doing for the last two years is in no way sustainable and has had a serious impact on my health and well-being (nobody should be taking seven courses of antibiotics in a year!). I am also planning on moving from the UK in the next year and this will likely be the focus of my attention on top of working full-time. Besides these more urgent priorities, I have some plans for moving forward with my creative practice after the MA:

In June, I will be showcasing the “Hate Dress” as part of a performance on gender equality and combating gender based violence at the European Youth Event at the European Parliament in Strasbourg in June, where I will “re-speak” some of the troll comments featured upon it, as well as performing the song, ‘A Thread of Empathy’. I’m then planning to destroy the dress in a performance during the MA Final Show at CSM – inviting others to help me diminish the power and impact of the abuse by deconstructing the dress and discard the hate. This performance will be filmed by my videographer and edited into a film for dissemination across my social media channels – thereby “recycling” the troll comments I have received, by positively channelling the abuse into artistic content and returning it to the place from which it came in a defiant act of creativity. I will then look for opportunities to present and disseminate the videos I have created from the dress, I also want to explore combining the videos with remnants of the destroyed dress, as an installation for potential future exhibitions addressing the psychological impacts of cyber bullying and misogyny.

The portraits and flags I have created for my “Kaleidentity” project will be displayed as part of Migration Matters festival in Sheffield in June – a week-long celebration of cultural diversity and the contribution migrants have made to my home city in which I am honoured to be included. At the open night event I will have the opportunity to give voice to the stories of my research participants by “respeaking” quotes from their interviews and reflecting on some of the insights I have gained through my research. Before this exhibition and the final show at CSM which is directly afterwards, I am planning to publish the creative outcomes from the “Kaleidentity” project, along with the insightful quotes from my participant’s interviews as blog posts celebrating each individual’s story – so that the blog posts can be accessed through QR codes by exhibition visitors. After graduation, I am planning to create a book compiling the project outcomes, by reflecting in greater depth on the interviews and weaving together the common threads of experience and collective wisdom of my research participants to synthesise and present the knowledge I have gained. I will then seek further opportunities for dissemination, such as exhibitions to display the portraits and flags, and to distribute the book. I am also applying for opportunities, such as residencies and grants, to extend the research project to include additional participants with diverse migrant backgrounds and thereby build up a stronger archive of migrant’s stories.

My art collective, Dare to Care are looking for our next opportunity to collaborate on a project together, most of us have been too busy to pursue any projects since our “Ways of Healing” public programme in Bologna in April 2024 – but we have agreed to find or create an opportunity to meet and collaborate within the next year. Being spread geographically across Europe and all having busy jobs, creative practices and personal lives has been a challenge to our co-operation, but we find the rare opportunities to collaborate so rewarding, that we are all keen to maintain our collective and look for future opportunities together. In the meantime, we continue to meet online and pursue remote collaboration opportunities such as securing feature posts and articles.

I will continue creating landscape artworks during the many opportunities I have to travel through my campaigning work, and I have planned a 2.5-week trip to Romania in the Summer, which has been funded through my “Art Getaway” prize money from “The Vibrant Mind’ exhibition, which I won in 2024. I will be making a tour of Transylvania, where I plan to capture more artworks which will be published in posts on my blog and social media to be shared by the granting organisation, GAMIAN Europe. I am planning with Sheffield for Europe to organise an exhibition of these artworks of European countries in Autumn 2025, in order to facilitate a dialogue about the value of travel and freedom of movement, and to celebrate the cultural diversity of Europe. I will then look for further exhibition opportunities to showcase these landscape artworks, as well as continuing to push myself to improve my technical skill in drawing to improve the quality of my landscape sketches.

I plan to continue my “potainting” series, when I have the creative energy to indulge this more joyful activity. I would like to explore the technique in greater depth, and the visual effects I can achieve using a potato as a painting tool and the different surfaces on to which I can paint. I’m also interested to explore whether I could make an installation artwork from hanging textiles “potaintings”. I also plan to continue “potainting” onto hessian sacks, so that if the opportunity arises to stage a performance, I could propose my “po-hate-o” sack race and organise for it to be filmed and then edit a video from the performance.

Finally, as I have been focussing more on the visual art side of my practice instead of the musical and performance side, I haven’t written a lot of new musical material. I hope to redress this balance after the degree and write some new material to perform when I have the opportunity. I co-wrote my first song, a collaboration for the Centre for European Volunteering, during the MA course and realised the power of collaborative creation which reflects the values of solidarity and collective action which my songs often aim to communicate. This experience has motivated me to co-write more material with fellow campaigners, including my boyfriend who performed alongside me at the Sheffield Community Connections evening and I am exploring the possibility of organising a concert with the youth campaign group I currently work with - several of whom are musicians. I will also continue to explore how I can integrate musical performance and my visual/textiles artwork, through costume design and the possibility of creating performative installation.