Ania Duldiier - Interview

Ania Duldiier is a Ukrainian artist, member of Dare to Care Art Colective and mother of three, currently living in Switzerland. She has lived in Ukraine and Switzerland.

Ania's Portrait

Ania’s perception of home relates to memory, experiences and friendships. She views Ukraine as her home even though, due to the ongoing war, she does not know if and whether she and her family will be able to return there:

●      “For me, home is the place where you were formed as a personality and had your first experiences, and main experiences in friendship and relationships. Where you are deeply connected to something like a community or the land itself. I feel that kind of connection that is formed emotionally and psychologically, that is where I feel home.”

●      “Right now, home is Ukraine, and I don't think that can change in the near future, because even though I feel safer in other places, it doesn't feel like being at home.”

●      “A lot of my friends and family are abroad and we meet. But a lot of them are back home and we keep connected by messaging and calling.”

●      “It's hard to say if it will be possible to return there? Will it be safe enough? How long will it be safe? And after the war ends, what kind of society will you live in? It’s very hard to say, it's not like it's possible to return Ukraine to the state it was left.”

When we discussed the topic of identity, Ania was quick to avoid prescriptive labels, instead defining identity by actions and personal choices:

●      “I guess my identities are assembled of things I'm doing; my deeds, my everyday choices and my thoughts.”

●      “The biggest part of my personality will always be empathy and being emotional, believing in a better future, and maybe a bit idealistic and naive, but in a practical way.”

●      “I’m also trying to overcome some bad traits of my personality that I have to acknowledge, sometimes they unconsciously can take over, like being selfish, being judgmental, categorising things and not being open enough to perceive the world without the labels. Admitting something to yourself is already a big step, it’s about having awareness.”

●      “I didn't usually like to think in labels, like being white, or being Ukrainian, or being an artist, or being a mother. I perceived identity as a unique thing, not a label.”

Although she has experienced some gender-based discrimination, Ania preferred to view these incidents as personal attitudes, to undermine the influence of destructive views. She explained how she felt privileged because her treatment as an Ukrainian refugee had been overwhelmingly positive:

●      “For me, it's hard to determine whether there has been some discrimination. I think when you close yourself to the world and you lose trust, then it's so much easier to feel discrimination and every little thing can be perceived as an aggression towards you.”

●      “What I have experienced, I would call it attitudes more than discrimination. So sometimes someone’s attitude was gender-based, but still, I don’t think it influenced anything much – I would say something if I felt it had an effect, but I don’t care about some person's attitude so much.”

●      “I remember it was not a good feeling to be alone as a woman on some trips, like in Turkey for example, but I don't do it a lot, and I accepted it as a rule for that country. So that's how I think my mind works, I just don't provoke the situations that can cause discrimination.”

●      “When I moved to Switzerland, it was a very warm reception and the feeling of kindness and empathy, maybe not understanding the whole of your problems, but it's hard for people that didn't experience conflict to fully perceived what people are going through. But still, a lot of people were very supportive and open, and I lived for some time with a family that I'm still friends with and we have a deep connection. The overall feeling was of being safe and helped.”

●      “The strange thing was, we were treated better than other refugees, because we were more close geographically and culturally, we are also Christians. Sometimes it felt unfair towards others, because I lived for some time at the refugee center, and it felt like others were not so well received and understood.”

Ania has always felt like an outsider to social groups, fitting in better with alternative groups and at arts university. However, since moving to Switzerland she has found meaningful connection in a community of refugee artists:

●      “I feel I always had this problem of not fitting in with societies and groups, so I'm not at this stage, really wanting to integrate and to fit in and I don't make a big deal about it. I have a big history of not fitting in at school, in university, and then in other groups.

●      “I tried to fit in with alternative groups. I have my family and a small group of friends. I find some personalities need a lot of people around them, but it never was my purpose to fit in a city, a society, or a big group.”

●      “It was also easier when I entered arts university, because everyone is kind of strange, so in a perfect way, everyone suddenly fits in. I think the normal people would not fit in there. So, if you're strange, it's your basic right to fit into an arts institution.”

●      “In Switzerland, there is a foundation that promotes interactions between refugee artists. It's a nice community that sometimes meets and we go together to the theater or a museum and your tickets and a meal afterwards are sponsored. And even though I don't have a deep contact with these people, I know a lot of them, and we communicate well, and it feels nice to be part of this community.”

I asked Ania what her passion is:

●      “My passion is creating stuff. I feel complete when I create something I truly believe in, starting from the idea and then making it with my hands.”

Ania struggled to pick the colours for her portrait, but eventually decided on yellow and blue, to represent her Ukrainian identity, orange because of her solidarity with the working class and green because she finds solace in nature:

●      “It's hard for me to find this deep meaning in colors.”

●      “I have a very close connection to the nature, and I need it like I need to have my own piece of ground, even on the terrace to plant things. As a child, I used to plant things with my granny. I can't live without having something green around me or having some nature nearby.”

●      “I really like orange – the bright coloured uniform of road workers. I can't imagine myself ever buying super expensive branded things or some luxury item, I don't understand it. When some people are working so hard for essentials, why would someone want something luxurious? I accept it in other people and find no harm if some people think it's a need, but for me, I don't get it. So, I guess that's because I was raised in such a way and that's who I am.”

●      “It helps in my apartment to have the Ukrainian flag. I never did it before, because I didn't feel the need, but right now, I feel that the symbol is something that nobody can steal or take away from me.”

For her flag, Ania wanted a symbol that represented her jolly nature and commitment to personal growth – we eventually decided on smiling carrots:

●      “I remember when I was in a camp with my daughter, and we needed to describe ourselves with some adjective and I said ‘jolly’ – this word represents me. I guess that's a combination of some hormones and psychological peculiarities of my individuality, but through all the things that happen, through all other emotions including sadness, I keep this resilient jolliness. I don't know how to represent it in a symbol, perhaps the smiling emoji.”

●      “Some kind of connection to growing and nature - empathy is a big part of me.”

Ania's Flag

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