Europe Day Wedding Party

We chose to celebrate our wedding on 9th May - Europe Day 2026 because Europe is what brought us together: We met at the European Commission in Munich’s “Zamanand” (voter mobilisation) festival - just before the EU Elections in 2024. I was performing on a very wet and freezing cold day - hardly anyone was at the festival or watching my performance. My husband’s pro-EU youth organisation, JEF Bayern, was due to have a stall at the festival, but it was called off at the last minute because of the terrible weather... So, like a good Bavarian, he went to the bar and had a few beers - and after I had finished my set, he met me off the stage and told me about a panel discussion event his organisation was holding that evening, in a cafe just around the corner - a debate on Brexit. I know “Love at first sight” seems like a cliché, but I was instantly entranced by his sparkling light blue eyes. He was too shy to invite me directly, but I went along anyway with the Head of the European Commission in Munich who was attending the event along with his colleage… the only snag was that the debate was in German, a language I barely knew, but he insisted on translating the entire discussion for me, so I didn’t feel excluded. That proved to be the perfect excuse to spend the entire evening staring deeply into his sparkling eyes (he told me later that that had made him even more nervous!). After that, we didn’t see each other again for over 3 months - when I travelled to stay with him in Bavaria for 2 weeks. This time, it was my turn to be nervous, and I barely spoke for the first few hours, whilst he gave me a tour of his small, Bavarian town. We had our first kiss under a rainbow, on his balcony, in front of the Bavarian mountains and every moment of our lives together since then have felt like a magical fairy tale. Even with the immense challenges of a long distance relationship and the nightmare of post Brexit bureaucracy: Constantly travelling back and forth, long periods apart, sorting out pet sitting for my two cats, negotiating the 90/180 day rule and the kafkaesque nonsense of acquiring the documents required for us to marry (more on that below) - I have felt so loved and cared for throughout everything. We’re not out of the woods yet - we have more bureaucracy to negotiate in order for us to be able to live together, but I am so immensely grateful that the stars aligned to bring me and my wonderful husband together, and so happy that we could celebrate our love for each other on our favourite day of the year - Europe day. A huge thank you goes to all those who shared this moment with us, helped us organise the food, drinks and decorations, and made it so special, memorable and ecstatically fun. We will cherish the memory of this day forever.

The Kafkaeque Bureaucracy

Jovialities asside, the legal process of arranging a transnational marriage has been far from easy. Germany is infamous for it's stringent and excessive bureaucracy, but we decided it would be better for us to marry in my husband's home town, for several reasons: Firstly, they already had all of his documents, so it would only be a case of sorting out mine; secondly, we decided we wanted to live in Germany and we would have to get our marriage legally recognised in Germany if we had married anywhere else; thirdly, I discovered that my husband would have had to have acquired a "fiance visa" to marry in the UK whereas I did not need one to marry in Germany.

The first document we had to acquire was a 'certificate of no impedement' from the registry office in Sheffield. This document is basically to show that you are not married to anyone else, and for some bizarre reason, has to be pinned to a notice board in the registry office for 28 days before it can be issued. I paid the fee and made the appointment at the registry office as soon as I could, and received a several emails from the town hall, including an automated email full of CAPITALISED words and spelling mistakes, supposedly telling me what documentation I needed to bring with me to the appointment. As it turned out, they did not actually inform me of everything I needed, and I had to call my husband during the appointment in a panic to get his information as well. During the appointment the registrar asked me why we were getting married in Germany because it would be much easier to do it in the UK, I questioned this but said I would send a follow up email to clarify what we would need to marry in the UK - in response to that email I was told that the registry office "could not give visa advice" and that we would "have to speak with an immigration lawyer" - despite the fact that I had clearly stated that we did not want to live in the UK. Cold, cruel and infuriatingly unhelpful. The next task was getting Apostilles for my birth certificate, 'change of name' by deed poll and the 'certificate of no impedement', which you can apply for from the Commonwealth and Development Office (in Milton Keynes). This can take up to three weeks, plus delivery time - so, I paid the £140 for the three documents I needed, and I got them sent off straight away by Royal Mail signed & tracked special delivery and we booked a flight to Germany and appointment at the administration for five weeks later. The apostilles were processed on schedule and delivered three weeks later, on a Friday, by a private courrier company, contracted by the government - which failed delivery (I was in the whole day and the doorbell was not rung, nor was a calling card left despite them claiming to have done). Of course, it was impossible to get through on the phone line to speak to a person and the private courrier did not work over the weekend, so I anxiously waited for redelivery on Monday, which didn't happen - agan I couldn't get in touch with the company, so I tried emailing the Commonwealth and Development office, who didn't reply for several days - thankfully the documents had been delivered by then - but I was really left wondering why the government was contracting a useless private courrier when Royal Mail had worked perfectly?

Then came the next problem, my application for an apostille for my 'change of name' by deed poll was rejected. I was so stressed at this point that I cried - literally, over a piece of paper. Apparently, the certified copy provided by the UK Deed Poll Service is not "legal" because the CEO who certifies it, is not a practicing solicitor. I was astounded. Basically, in the UK, you can use a non-legally certified document to change your name in your legal ID (passport and driver's license) - kafkaesque doesn't even begin to cover it. But now I had a problem, we had a flight booked in two weeks to attend the appointment at the German administration, but I didn't have all the documents I needed, nor the translations into German. Panicking again, I started asking my lawyer friends if they could help, and thankfully, Julian Rowden of Sheffield for Europe was able to certify my Deed Poll that same day - now I just had to get an apostille in time for the flight. After some research online, I discovered that you could get an apostille quicker if you used a third party service - even though they are processed by the same government department in Milton Keynes. More bureaucratic madness, but I was grateful to have a solution, even if it cost significantly more to get it faster. The final task was to translate all of my documents and apostilles into German, we thankfully found a local lawyer who could do it in time, but it was not cheap.

Two weeks later, with all the documents in hand, we travelled to Germany and attended the appointment at the German administration - only to discover that we couldn't register the marriage because we needed a translator (my husband was not allowed to do it, in case he "tricked me" into marrying him). I cried again - more tears over bureaucratic nonsense. This problem was especially stressful to solve since I had a return flight to the UK booked two days later, so we had to find a translator overnight. The bizarre part being that this person did not need to be a certified translator - it could literally be anyone who speaks enough German / English, and had we had more time, we could probably have found a friend to do it for us (as we did for the wedding ceremony). We immediately contacted the lawyer who had translated the documents for us, and he was fortunately available to come the next morening, albeit it at a high price, again we had solved the problem.

After that, everything regarding the marriage, went smoothly. Getting the cats to Germany, on the other hand, was more kafkaesque, bureaucratic nonsense (I wrote a separate blog post about that) - which has left me with the overwhelming impression that the UK has imposed this totally unneccessary Brexit bureaucracy on itself and not properly trained the people responsible for administring it - and citizens are having to bear the resulting stress and cost of dealing with this nonsense.

Unfortunately, we're not out of the woods yet - we still need to find a flat to rent together, and I need to apply for a residency permit - but having clarified with the Ausländerbehörde what is needed, I am hoping that will not cause too many more problems. In the meantime, I have to keep leaving my new husband and our cats, travelling outside of the Schengen area, so as not to use up my 90/180 days before the residency permit arrives (which could take 2-6 months) ... this wasn't quite the start to married life I had imagined (we're post-poning planning a honey moon until we are settled), but I am sure we will get through it and be stronger for having supported each other through all the challenges we have had to overcome.

#WeddingCakeGate

Finally, a little note on #WeddingCakeGate... As I used to bake cakes (professionally) for sale in a cafe, and have lengthy experience of elaborate, themed, cake decorating for community events, I was fairly confident in my ability to make my own wedding cake... What I had not banked on, was the very old oven in my husband's flat having only one temperature - incineration. I had bought enough cake ingredients for 4 sponges, to allow for any mishaps in my first attempt, using an unfamilliar (non fan-assisted) oven... After half an hour at 175'C (the recommended temp for a non-fan assisted oven), the higher sponge came out charcoal on the top side, whilst the lower sponge was charcoal on the bottom. I decided to lower the oven temperature to 160'C and tried cooking just one sponge at a time in the centre of the oven - to no avail, it also burnt. I cooled the oven to 150'C and attempted the last remaining sponge - which also started burning after 20 mins. At which point I gave up and went to the supermarket to buy pre-made sponge. I still, however, needed to make a vegan alternative, so I prepped the batter for vegan chocolate cupcakes, and out of curiosity I tried cooking 1 cupcake at 100'C for 12 minutes - it also burnt. At which point I came to the conclusion that the temperature dial on the very old oven was totally fucked. Never mind - some rather hilarious memories were made, and I was still able to decorate an EU themed wedding cake for our Europe day party!We celebrated our wedding on Europe Day 2026 Europe brought us together: we met at the European Commission in Munich’s “Zamanand” voter mobilisation festival - just before the EU Elections in 2024 I was performing on a very wet and freezing cold stage - hardly anyone was at the festival or watching my performance. Johann’s youth organisation JEF Bayern was due to have a stall at the festival but called it off at the last minute because of the terrible weather... So, he went to the bar, like a good Bavarian and had a few beers - after I had finished my set he came up to me and told me about an event his organisation was holding that evening - a debate on Brexit. I know “Love at first sight” seems like a cliché but I was instantly entranced by his sparkling light blue eyes. He was too shy to invite me directly, but I went along anyway with the Head of the European Commission in Munich who had organised the festival… the only snag was the debate was in German, a language I knew barely of, but he insisted on translating the entire discussion for me - so, I didn’t feel excluded. The perfect excuse to spend the entire evening staring in deeply into his sparkling eyes (he told me later that made him even more nervous!!) We didn’t see each other again for over 3 months - when I travelled to stay with him in Bavaria for 2 weeks. We had our first kiss under a rainbow over the Bavarian mountains and every moment of our lives together since then have felt like a magical fairy tale. Even with the immense challenges of a long distance relationship and the nightmare of post Brexit bureaucracy (constantly travelling back and forth, negotiating the 90/180 day rule and the kafkaesque nonsense of acquiring the documents required for us to marry) I have felt so loved and cared for throughout everything. We’re not out of the woods yet - we have more bureaucracy to negotiate in order for us to be able to live together, but I am so immensely grateful that the stars aligned to bring me and my wonderful husband together. And we wanted to celebrate our love for each other on our favourite day of the year - 9th May - Europe day. A huge thank you to all who shared this moment with us, helped us organise and made it so special, memorable and ecstatically fun. We will cherish the memory of this day forever.