The main thing I wanted to focus on during this tutorial was the Migrant Identity Research project which has been consuming the majority of my attention this year. I think Jonathan wanted to talk about my "potaintings" as well but I rather brushed that discussion under the rug, as "something I am doing for fun but don't have time / creative energy for at the moment".

Jonathan asked what I was finding difficult at the moment and honestly the answer is balancing working full time with the work for the MA. Without going into specifics, I am feeling incredibly emotionally drained and therefore creatively drained at the moment - so, I am struggling with doing more experimental work which would require creative energy. I haven't done any "Potainting" for over a month, not helped by the fact that I am travelling a lot and I can only do the messy abstract painting at home, but when I am at home I just haven't had the energy / motivation to do any more. At least with the research project, I have already gone through the ideation process and I am now just following a work plan to deliver the outcomes I envisaged. I have no problem with pushing through tiredness and fatigue with methodical work which doesn't involve much imagination.

We talked in depth about the 10 portraits for the research project, which I have finished now; discussing what worked and what didn't and why; mistakes I had made in my creative choices, the difficulties of the co-creation aspect and the importance of the quality of source image I was working from. We discussed, how in an ideal world with infinite resources and time, I would take the photographs myself ensuring dramatic lighting and shadows, since these portraits had tended to turn out better than ones where I was working from a photograph with very flat lighting. I commented that generally, I thought they had got better the more that I did and therefore was slightly bereft that I wouldn't be making any more (at least not until after the MA course is finished) since I needed to focus on the other elements of the project. Jonathan mentioned some feedback I had received from a fellow artist on the successful development of the style, which he had disliked at first. I responded that I would like to do more portraits, to further develop and improve the style, but that I felt that another portrait project such as this one, or the Brexiles portraits I did for the Scharzkopf Foundation, would be much stronger within a framework and with the support of an institution.

I wanted to discuss the remaining elements of the project which I will be working on over the next few months. First of all, designing the flags for the 10 participants. I wanted to discuss how the flags could be displayed in the final show - since this would dictate the size which I need to make them. I said that I had a few ideas; very small flags strung together like bunting above the portraits to give a celebratory vibe, medium-sized flags, stitched together like a patchwork quilt to give a sense of an international community bound together through experience and empathy, or larger flags, draped from flag poles attached to the wall with metal brackets - like I saw at the exhibition in Linz. Jonathan asked me how important it was that the flags are hand-made and would designing them digitally and printing them on fabric be a solution which would allow adaptability in terms of the size of the flags. I hadn't thought about this idea before, but I reflected that this was a good suggestion for several practical reasons, including the complexity of the designs some participants had requested (a mythical creature, part octopus and part dolphin) which I could easily execute as a drawing/painting but would struggle to embroider given time constraints and my limited skill in textiles, and the fact that I am travelling a lot in the coming months and will have limited time at home with my sewing machine. The hand-made aspect is less important to me than the co-creation of the design with the participants, so I think I will switch to this approach. Nevertheless, after our discussion, I think I am decided upon displaying the flags as bunting as this aligns with the celebratory intention of the project. We also discussed the interviews and how I was putting-off transcribing and analysing the interviews - I always have a problem starting something unfamilliar or new, but once I have got over the first hurdle I have no problems with motivation. Jonathan suggested using youtube caption function as a free-way of transcribing the audio - I said I was going to try a free-trial of Otter.AI and try to get it done within the week time limit but Youtube was a good back-up option. We also discussed the book which I plan to create to document the project and disseminate the outcomes. Jonathan asked me to describe what I intended it to look like; an A4, soft-cover, perfectly-bound booklet with around 48 pages, printed on mass for dissemination. He said that would be expensive but I explained my plans to crowdfund the print-run and the amount I raised would define the number of copies I print. I said that I've self-published nine books, so I am optimistic that this crowdfunder wouldn't fail.

I also discussed my "Hate Dress" - Jonathan said that he had watched the documentary Jeff had made with me at CSM. I told him that I had some great news, that I was going to take the dress to the European Youth Event at the European Parliament in Strasbourg in June, to showcase the hate I had received as a result of my activism for the institution and perform the 'Thread of Empath' song I wrote. I asked if it would be possible for me to "perform" at the final show and dismantle the dress after this showcasing performance at the parliament. Jonathan said it would be possible and we discussed where, when and how to do it. Jonathan asked if I wanted to do this next to the portraits/flags I am creating and I said this wasn't neccessary but that it was very important for the performance to be filmed (and disseminated on social media afterwards to complete the cyclic nature of the artwork) and that I wanted the performance to be participatory - inviting others to help me destroy the dress (not least because it would be very difficult for me to do by myself) - I am also hoping that Lucy will join my performance and sticker me in hearts after the dress has been removed. Jonathan asked about what I would be wearing underneath (if anything?), and I said I was going to source a leotard/bodysuit that wouldn't be visible under the dress and that I san't planning for the performance to include any nudity! In light of the documentary which we filmed on the balcony at CSM, Jonathan suggested I "play with the building", and that we could throw the scraps of the dress over the balcony and have multiple people filming; close ups of the dismantling and then wider shots of the cascading rags from different angles. I said that I would try and get my performance at the parliament filmed as well (my boyfriend is going, so I will ask him) and then I can edit a longer video from the two performances after the MA has finished. Jonathan said it was "ironic" that my posts about the "hate dress" were getting troll comments, but I realised that this could take the artwork forward and I could make further work based on the responses on social media and further trolling.

After we had finished discussing my work, Jonathan asked if I had some time to discuss the student feedback I had given during the recent course committee meeting and asked for my opinion onthe group feedback sessions. I really appreciated this opportunity to "give something back" to the teaching process, even in a small way.

After our tutorial I received some amazing news: my propsal for the 10 portraits to be exhibited at the Migration Matters Festival in Sheffield - which would be the perfect opportunity to share the stories and insights of my participants. The only problem is that the festival runs from 20th - 28th June and we are supposed to be installing the MA final show from 24th June. This would only give me 1-2 days to install my work .... I think it's doable but I need to check with Jonathan bfore I commit! June is going to be an intense month!