Redi Asabella - Interview

Redi Asabella is an Albanian Cultural Mediator and Project Manager with Albanian citizenship. He has lived in Turkey, Italy, the UK and Sweden and currently lives in Albania.

Redi's portrait

Redi explained how the country of his birth has felt less and less like home the more he has travelled and migrated. Whilst not ruling out settling in Albania long-term, he expressed a desire to migrate again due to lack of opportunity, specifying Rome as the place he has felt most at home due to his connection with the community and positive experiences there:

●      “Legally, Albania is home to me. But growing up, I liked more and more having the chance to live abroad and travel, and every time I come back here, it feels less and less so. I haven't been able to find a full sensation of home, maybe Rome, but it's mostly because I've spent the best years of my life there. I think home is mostly people, so I'd say home is my mother, because she's always been an important figure In my life and has been there for me the whole time. And I think it's mostly people, rather than a physical space.”

●      “I was born and raised in Korça, which is one of the main cities in Albania. It's in the southeast of the country, very close to the border with North Macedonia and Greece and has always been considered one of the cultural cradles of the country. After high school, I had the opportunity to study in Turkey. So, I stayed there for three months, then I started living in Tirana for four years. After that I moved to Rome, where I stayed for another four years. After that, I started traveling quite a lot, which coincided with me starting work for the Giufa project. So, in 2022 I lived for a couple of months in Sweden, a month in the UK. Then I came back to Albania, but I've travelled a lot in the past couple of years, spending more or less half the time out of the country.”

●      “Rome is probably one of the places I've enjoyed the most, and one of the places that keeps on surprising me and giving me stimuli to go back and see.”

●      “It's my dream, in an ideal world, to have a small farm in the mountains. Somewhere isolated, but close enough to civilization, in case I would need to go back or to have visitors. I had this fantasy for a couple of years of buying a small house in the mountains between Korça and Tirana, it’s one of the areas that has the most biodiversity because it's scarcely populated, so animals can do whatever they want, basically.”

●      “I'm growing tired of Albania because of the fact that Tirana is one of the messiest places I've ever lived. And I've set a deadline until the end of 2025, if things don't really kick off, then I might reconsider moving again or going somewhere where I'd have better prospects when it comes to professional life.”

Redi explained how isolation during the communist dictatorship had impacted the diversity of Albanian culture and whilst not dismissing the influence on his identity, he felt that some of the countries traditions and values are out-dated especially with regards to gender norms and societal expectations. He explained how travel and migration had broadened his development and sense of identity:

●      “Identity is made of certain characteristics that come from the culture that you're born in. So, I'm certainly Albanian, whatever that means. I share a language and I share a set of beliefs and it's not that I share them with most people that live here, but it's true that we have quite a homogeneous society in Albania. We were very isolated for a long time, especially during the communist times. So, we are a very conservative society when it comes to preserving our own cultural identity, and I think that's because we've always had conquerors; the Roman Empire, the Ottoman Empire, and then the second world war and the communist regime. I appreciate the fact that I'm from here, and we have some very nice traditions, although some of them are a bit outdated.”

●      “I also think that my identity has changed and is changing constantly in terms of it getting enriched. I wouldn't have thought five years ago that I would be working in culture, and somehow, that also impacts my identity.”

●      “When it comes to gender identity. I've always known myself as a man, and I've never actually thought of having another gender identity because of where I come from - if you were born a man, you have to be a man. And I think everything is forced on you, that you have certain characteristics as a man, like being the strong one. Now I am the age of getting married and having a child, that should also be part of my identity. Most people, especially in my hometown, ask me every time I meet them, if I am engaged and then they say that I'm getting near 30, and it's “getting a bit late, isn't it?”.”

●      “In Western culture I feel like the standards are completely different - none of my friends have children. They aren’t harassed constantly about why they don't have children. But it's part of our culture, I think, and it's related to identity. But it’s definitely other people trying to impose an identity.”

●      “I've had a very long relationship for five years with someone, and because I was younger, I never had the idea of having children. But as I get older, I think it might be nice if one day I find someone that I feel comfortable having and raising a child with, then I might consider it. But I don't feel like it's something that is determining my behavior, otherwise I would have already done something about it.”

When describing his personality, Redi emphasized how it had been impacted by external circumstances, including the Covid pandemic, as well as his experiences of migration and professional life. He reflected on how his appearance impacts on how others perceive his personality:

●      “When I was a bit younger, I was a bit more outgoing and I think the pandemic has impacted that, because I was living in Italy, which had a very bad COVID situation, so we were forced for a long time to just stay inside our homes and not see one another and also that fueled my introspective process.”

●      “Moving abroad has had a great impact on my personality because I am from a small town in Albania.”

●      “I've always been open minded, or at least not judgy, I don't really care what other people do, as long as their behavior doesn't harm or annoy other people. I don’t think there's one way of living life - there's as many lives as people on this planet.”

●      “I do appreciate freedom and I really appreciate people that can push my boundaries, but also theirs, in the sense that I can have engaging conversations with them.”

●      “I'm a very curious person, but not nosy.”

●      “I noticed recently, I toned down lots of my capabilities, like the fact I can speak five languages, because I feel like that's bragging. But I feel like there's lots of people out there that brag about their way of life. So, I'm going to be more self-aware of what my achievements are, without being cocky.”

●      “I sound very calm and quiet, although I can get very mad, when I'm pushed way past what I’m supposed to endure. I think I come across as a very calm person, but I think people are also fooled by the beard - which gives me a sense of wisdom.”

As a white man, Redi acknowledged his privilege with regards to experiences of discrimination, whilst highlighting incidents of ethnic discrimination by both members of the public and state authorities:

●      “I'm a white male, so I am aware of being privileged – because I also do speak very good English, Italian, French and Spanish, so I can easily get by in other countries as one of the locals. But there have been a few episodes, one of them was in the UK. I had longer hair and a longer beard and I was walking past a pub, and there were two or three guys that were having a beer and smoking outside and one of them called me Gaddafi. It really struck me, because it had never happened to me before, and I didn't feel anything in particular. But I felt sorry for the people who said that to me, and I also really worried for the other people who I was working with; we had people from Afghanistan and Syria, who were darker skinned than me. And I was thinking, "I can endure that, but what would happen if they said the same things to these people that are much more vulnerable, because they were refugees in the UK?”

●      “One of the worst experiences of my entire life was with the German border police. I think it was a mixture of racism and ignorance, but long story short, they kept me in the airport in Bonn for three hours because they were suspicious of my UK visa. I was flying from London to Bonn and the German police thought my visa was fake, and the stamp on my visa was fake. They kept me there, they asked me questions, they made me undress completely and they put me in a cell. So basically, I was in a room with a mat on the floor and a light for three hours. And it was probably one of the worst experiences I've ever had in my life. In the end, they did apologize about how they treated me, but they said that they were just doing their job. And I told them that they were behaving like this because of the way I look and because I have an Albanian passport.”

Redi feels like he fits in amongst communities of like-minded people with similar values, which he struggles to find in his current city of residence, where he finds the culture to competitive and consumerist:

●      “Not fitting in is something that I live with every day, in the sense that I don't feel like I belong in Tirana, because it's very chaotic and messy, and not a livable city at all. And it's also because most of my friends in Tirana have left the country, so I feel like a tree that is losing its roots. It's also because we grow up and then we understand that not everybody that we've hung out with is our friend, so I have very few people left that I actually feel like I belong with. And in most other situations, I feel like I don't fully belong and I can’t be completely and entirely myself and speak my mind. Which does leave you with a sense of isolation.”

●      “I felt more at home in certain environments outside of Albania - it's mostly to do with the people who surround you. If I feel like I have like minded-people around me, I don't really need a specific place to feel like I belong.”

●      “I simply don't like Tirana. I simply don't like the city’s people. It's very toxic, and I don't really like to use the toxic adjective, but it is. People are always trying to prove that they're better than others. There's a constant climate of competition, and because it's a country with a post-communist reality, this determines how we behave around others too. Everybody has to be sharply dressed and cars are a status symbol - to have an expensive car is how you show others that you've made a good life. But I don't measure myself with economic commodities. If I have a car that will take me from A to B, that's fine. I don’t subscribe to this idea of building an image of yourself that isn’t who you truly are, but I've realised recently that some of the people I used to hang out with, have switched to this mindset and I can't make that extra step to meet them again in their conversations. So, I recently get bored very easily when we go out together, and I feel much more isolated and alone.”

In contrast, Redi has found belonging through sports teams and the Italian theater company with which he currently works:

●      “I had some friendships during university which lasted, but most of the people from Rome that I still see today, they're from the basketball team I played in, because team sports build a sense of ownership and belonging. You have to fight for the same goal, at least for those 40-50 minutes, and that creates a bond between people. I think for me, having played sports as a child, that forged in me a sense of community and sacrifice in the name of a greater good, which can apply to many other situations.”

●      “I really like people that stimulate me, that push me and themselves, in terms of discussing ideas, or having open conversations about topics. I love it when people know how to have conversations, not always agreeing but respecting each other's opinions and making each other understand that there isn't only one answer to a question.”

●      “I do feel I belong a lot in the Arichanti team as well, the theater company I'm currently collaborating with in Italy. I feel that there's certain people there, that I've deeply connected with, and I have a deep resonance with, and I fully enjoy their company.”

Redi explained how he tried to live a life full of passion and to constantly appreciate the world around him:

●      “I was someone that was logical and rational, I would try to explain everything through reason and I was a cold minded person, I didn't believe that I had anything creative in my set of skills. Then I slowly discovered that you can be amazed by literally everything that happens around you. So, I try to live life with a passion for everything that happens around me. I really love nature and I don't feel like we humans are any better than any of the creatures that live on the planet. I'd rather I lived a life full of passions, than having one passion. Whatever happens in life, it happens for a reason, so we should just live life how it comes to us and appreciate whatever it has given us.”

Redi chose dark, natural colours for his portrait, reflecting his affinity for the natural world. He also showed me jewellery which he always wears, and asked me to base the flag design on three shapes slotting into each other in a compact and minimalist design:

●      “It's things you can find easily in nature. I don't really like pungent colors, like yellow - I'm not a big fan of light in general, maybe darker colors.”

●      “I always carry with me the three basic shapes; I have a ring that's a circle, an earring that's a square, and another ring that's a triangle. I do like these three geometrical shapes and they can also fit very well in one another.”

Redi's flag

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