Brexit, Bureaucracy and a Bavarian Wedding Ceremony

I married my husband, Johann Hubmann, on 07/05/26 in Bad Reichenhall.

And now for a lengthy rant about kafkaesque bureaucracy and the complex legal process of arranging a transnational marriage, which has been made infinitely more challenging by the impacts of Brexit (specifically the 90/180 day rule), and has also neccessitated marriage in order to allow a Brit to live with their EU partner.

Germany is infamous for it's stringent and excessive bureaucracy, but we decided it would be better for us to marry in my husband's home town, for several reasons:

• Firstly, they already had all of his documents, so it would just be a case of sorting out mine.

• Secondly, we decided we wanted to live in Germany (due to the obscene cost and arduous requirements for him to be elligible for a UK spouse visa - for which we do not currently qualify) and we would have had to go through additional bureaucracy to get our marriage legally recognised in Germany if we had married in the UK (and I have heard horror stories about the difficulties married spouses have faced attempting to do this).

• Thirdly, my then fiancé would have needed a visa to marry in the UK, whereas I did not need one to marry him in Germany.

The first document we had to acquire for the German administration was a 'certificate of no impedement' from the registry office in Sheffield. This document is basically to state that you are not married to anyone else, and for some bizarre reason, has to be pinned to a notice board in the registry office for 28 days (so that anyone who happens to be passing by the notice board during that period can object?!) before it can be issued. I paid the fee and made the appointment at the registry office, and received several emails from the town hall, including an automated email full of CAPITALISED words and spelling mistakes, supposedly telling me what documentation I needed to bring with me to the appointment. As it turned out, they did not actually inform me of everything I needed, and I had to call my then fiancé during the appointment in a panic to get his information as well. During the appointment the registrar asked me why we were getting married in Germany, claiming that it would be much easier to do it in the UK - I questioned this, knowing that he would require a visa but said I would send a follow up email to clarify what we would need to marry in the UK. In response to that email I was told that the registry office "could not give visa advice" and that we would "have to speak with an immigration lawyer" - despite the fact that I had clearly stated that we did not want to live in the UK. Which was everything you expect from UK bureaucracy: cold, cruel and infuriatingly unhelpful.

So, we decided to persevere with the German administration's lengthy requirements, as they had at least been friendly and helpful throughout. The next task was getting apostilles (internationally recognised legalisations) for my birth certificate, my ‘change of name' by deed poll (from over a decade ago) and the 'certificate of no impedement' - which you can apply for from the Commonwealth and Development Office (in Milton Keynes). This can take up to three weeks to process, plus the delivery time - so, I paid the fee for the three documents I needed, and I got them sent off straight away by Royal Mail signed & tracked special delivery and we booked a flight to Germany and appointment at the administration for five weeks later. The apostilles were processed on schedule and supposedly attempted delivered on a Friday, by a private courrier company, contracted by the government - which failed delivery (I was in the whole day and the doorbell was not rung, nor was a calling card left despite them claiming to have done so). Of course, it was impossible to get through on the phone line to speak to a person from the private courrier, who also did not work over the weekend. So, I anxiously waited for redelivery on Monday, which didn't happen - I still couldn't get in touch with the company, so I tried emailing the Commonwealth and Development office, who didn't reply for several days - thankfully the documents had been delivered by then. But I was really left wondering why the government was contracting a useless private courrier when Royal Mail special delivery had worked perfectly?

Then came the next problem, as it turned out, my application for an apostille for my 'change of name' by deed poll was rejected. I was so stressed at this point that I cried - literally, cried over a piece of paper. Apparently, the certified copy provided by the UK Deed Poll Service is not "legally certified" because the CEO of the service who certifies it, is not a practicing solicitor. I was astounded. Basically, this means that in the UK, you can use a non-legally certified document to change your name in your legal ID (passport and driver's license) - kafkaesque doesn't even begin to cover it. But now I had a problem, we had a flight booked in two weeks to attend the appointment at the German administration, and I didn't have all the documents I needed, nor the required translations into German. Panicking again, I started asking my lawyer friends if they could help, and thankfully, Julian - the chair of Sheffield for Europe - was able to certify my Deed Poll that same day - now I just had to get an apostille in time for the flight. After some research online, I discovered that you could get an apostille quicker if you used a third party service - even though they are processed by the same government department in Milton Keynes. More bureaucratic madness, but I was grateful to have a solution, even if it cost significantly more to get it faster (it was cheaper than rebooking our flights). The final task was to translate all of my documents and apostilles into German, we thankfully found a local German lawyer who could do it in time, but it was not cheap.

Two weeks later, having sent the documents digitally to the lawyer to translate, we travelled to Germany with the originals, and attended the appointment at the German administration - only to discover that we couldn't register the marriage because we needed a translator (my husband was not allowed to do it, in case he "tricked me" into marrying him). This is an understandable rule, to avoid coercion - but they could have told us in advance that this would be needed. I cried again - more tears over bureaucracy. This problem was especially stressful to solve since I had a return flight to the UK booked two days later, so we had to find a translator overnight. The bizarre part being that this person did not need to be a certified translator - it could literally be anyone who speaks enough German / English - and had we had more time, we could probably have found a friend to do it (as we did for the wedding ceremony). We immediately contacted the lawyer who had translated the documents for us, and he was fortunately available to come the next morning, albeit it at a high price, but we had at least solved the problem.

After that, everything regarding the marriage, went smoothly - and we had a wonderful, comedic and personal wedding ceremony (photos below) - and a fabulous EU themed wedding party on Europe day. Getting the cats to Germany, on the other hand, was more kafkaesque, bureaucratic nonsense (I wrote a separate blog post about that) - which has left me with the overwhelming impression that the UK has not properly trained the people responsible for administring our kafkaesque bureaucracy to do their jobs - and citizens are having to bear the resulting stress and cost of dealing with this nonsense.

Unfortunately, we're not out of the woods yet - we still need to find a flat to rent together in Germany, and then I need to apply for a residency permit - but having clarified with the Ausländerbehörde what is needed, I am hoping that this will not involve too many more problems. In the meantime, I have to keep leaving my new husband and our cats, travelling outside of the Schengen area, so as not to use up my 90/180 days before the residency permit arrives (which could take 2-6 months) and yes I also cry every time I have to leave him for a long period ... this wasn't quite the start to married life I had imagined (we're post-poning planning a honey-moon until we are settled down somewhere), but I am sure we will get through it and be stronger for having supported each other through all the challenges we have had to overcome.

Yet still, my heart goes out to those people who have not been able to overcome Brexit bureaucracy and the UK immigration system - the families struggling with the burden of visa applications and obscene visa / NHS surcharge costs - the dual nationals trapped abroad and unable to travel to the UK because of the recent changes to passport/visa rules - mothers who are bringing up their children alone because their husband does not qualify for a UK spouse visa - there are countless examples. I count myself lucky that I do have a way forward to build a future with my husband, and to be able to live together with our kitties - but really, that should just be a basic human right extended to everyone... Borders are cruel. Bureaucracy is cruel. Brexit is cruel.